Longing Hearts
by MissRenesmeeCarlieCullen17
Summary: Jacob leaves Renesmee without giving any reason as to why, how does she cope? Will understanding her parents story help, or will she continue to wallow in depression. Jacob said he didn't want to leave, why did he? Will he come back? Will she find another
1. Chp 1: Talking to Carlisle

**Hello! Here is the first chapter! Jacob does indeed have reasoning behind leaving her, even though in the books it would appear that he would never leave her. Please give this a chance and R&R because I really want to know what you think! Your reviews motivate me! :)**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight, not me :(**

Chapter 1: Talking to Carlisle

Renesmee POV

When one says they are in love with another they long to be with that person, to have that person be a part of their lives; but when one knows without words that they love someone, then they also know no way to live without them. I knew know way to live without my Jacob, I never thought I would have to learn how. Some would describe the feeling of such deep loss as an unbearable sorrow that seemed to fill your entire being, yet I felt the exact opposite. Without Jacob I felt emptiness beyond the point I ever thought possible before. It was as if he had taken a part of me with him when he left. I was starting to believe he truly had. In truth however most could never tell you how it feels, because few have ever loved someone as deeply as I loved Jacob.

My mother tells me it will get better with time, but I find this impossible to believe. Everywhere I look something is there to remind me of him. Over the years the wolves and my family had come to a truce, and some became friends. Every time I saw a wolf I reached a state to far away to even cry. I was done with crying, it wasn't helping and it wouldn't bring Jacob back.

It was still hard for me to grasp the concept that he was really gone. It had been months since he had left, but I could still feel his soft lips against my forehead as he murmured goodbye. He gave no explanation as to why he was leaving, one day he just left. I had chased after him, naturally, but when I caught up he looked pained and I was more confused than ever as to why he would leave. The part that confused me most was that as he walked away from me into the seemingly endless forest he told me he would always love me and that he wished he wasn't leaving. I wanted to ask why he had to leave if he didn't want to, but he was gone before I got the chance.

My family tried to get me to talk, but I rarely did anymore. As I walked into the kitchen that morning Esme asked me if I was hungry for breakfast. For no apparent reason I decided not to answer her and just walked straight to my Dad's old bedroom, which had quickly became my own when I stayed at the main house.

"I'll take that as a no" I heard Esme say softly while sighing. I sat down on my bed and listened to the conversation below. The only ones who were home were Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett; the rest had either gone hunting or shopping.

"I know she is having a rough time with Jacob leaving, but she shouldn't treat you like that Esme." I heard Carlisle say. I did feel guilty about how I had treated other people lately and I wished I could find another way to deal with my problems besides taking it out on the people around me, but I couldn't.

"I know but I feel bad for her, this is a really hard time for her and I don't want to make it worse."

"Maybe her not talking isn't such a bad thing, don't you remember how she would go on about all the boring books she had read and almost never shut up?" I didn't have to be there to know both Esme and Carlisle were shooting glares at Emmett.

"I think the only thing making it worse is that we've let it go on for so long. We don't need another incident like the last one with Bella. I'm going to go have a talk with her." Great, Carlisle was going to come talk to me. What did he mean "another incident"? All I knew was Carlisle would only say he was going to have a talk with one of us when he thought it had gone way too far and he needed to intervene. A few seconds later I heard a knock on the door.

"Renesmee, may I come in?" I didn't want to say yes but I knew saying no wasn't going to stop him from coming in anyway.

"Yeah, it's open." I mumbled quietly. I knew Carlisle could easily understand me regardless so I didn't bother to speak up. He closed the door behind him and sat down next to me, his expression serious, yet a small smile was notable in attempts to lighten the mood slightly.

"Renesmee," he began as he pulled me into a loose hug at his side, "I know this has been really hard on you, but it's no excuse to be disrespectful."

"I know but-"

"Let me finish, you can talk in a moment." He waited to see if I planned on saying something regardless and continued when I didn't. "As I was saying, because you are upset does not give you the right to be disrespectful. I'm not asking for you to engage yourself in any long conversations, but when someone asks you something you need to at least find the decency to respond _politely._" Having witnessed first-hand how incredibly rude I could be when I wasn't in a good mood he over-emphasized the word politely. "I haven't said much to you, considering the circumstances, but this has gone too far. It has been months since he left and you need to start at least trying to feel better. In all honesty Renesmee, I don't think you want to feel better." I opened my mouth to object but Carlisle silenced me before I had spoken. "The pain is how you remember him. I let it go the first couple of months thinking you would gradually bounce back over time, but it was four months ago that he left, and your depression hasn't shown any signs of improvement since the first week. I understand how important Jacob was to you, and a part of you will always seem broken because of it, but you can still beat it. You need to start doing something besides moping in your room all day." He had stopped talking so I took that as a signal to talk.

"But you don't understand how important he was to me, nobody does!" I almost screamed. I realized after I had said it that I sounded exactly like the teenage girls on TV, but I honestly felt like no one understood me.

"Renesmee, I know what it is like to care about someone very deeply and to feel as if you couldn't live without them."

"Yes, but you've never had to learn how!" I knew that everyone in my family was madly in love or something, but they couldn't possibly understand how it felt to lose that person.

"Your right Renesmee, I don't. There is however someone a lot closer to you than you may think that knows _exactly _how you feel right now

"Who are you talking about?" I asked him confused. I couldn't possibly imagine who he was talking about. I wasn't really close to anyone outside of my family.

"Your mother." He answered simply.

"Mom? I thought she meet Dad and they lived happily ever after or whatever after they got rid of all the vampires that wanted her destroyed. What are you talking about?"

"There is a lot you don't about your parent's story. Probably because your mother doesn't particularly enjoy talking about it. I'm sure however she would tell you if you asked her. You see, there was a time where your father left your mother even though he was still deeply in love with her. He believed she would be better off if he left, but she didn't know that was the reasoning behind it. He had simply told her that he didn't want her anymore." Did that have something to do with the incident he had mentioned downstairs, I wondered.

"Well how did they end up back together?" I asked him, suddenly eager to know more.

"That is not my story to tell, it is your parents. I would suggest that you ask them." With that he kissed me on the forehead and left.

**Ok, so what did you think? Was it good? great? bad? horrible? I really do care what you think so if you have a second please leave a review :) I will try to have the next chapter up soon. :)**


	2. Chp 2: Mom & Dad

**Hey you guys! I know, I'm horrible, this hasn't been updated in a long time, but now I've gotten some really cool ideas for it and I'm back to writing! Anyway I'm almost done with chapter 3 and should have it up soon, in the meantime your feedback is appreciated and thanks for reading! : ) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, wish I did, but it belongs to Stephanie Meyers **

Chapter 2: Mom & Dad

Renesmee POV

As Carlisle shut the door behind him my curiosity seemed to strengthen itself. Dad had left Mom? That didn't make sense, then again, love rarely does I've learned; but still, Carlisle had said that he had did it because he felt it was what would have been best for Mom, and that really threw me. Finding your soul-mate isn't something you just ignored, in fact it often altered a person entirely. So why then, would someone so madly in love, abandon the other? Once you finally found the person you couldn't live without, why would you? The more I thought about it, the more it confused me; but aside from that it had given me a small sense of hope. Jacob had told me he loved me before he took off into the unforgiving wilderness, was it possible that it would still hold true?

There was a second knock on the door that had broken my train of thought and I heard Esme ask if it was okay to come in as she began opening the door.

"If I say no will you leave me alone?" I asked sarcastically, regretting the words the moment I had spoken them. I heard her sigh as she entered and I quickly apologized.

"I'm sorry Esme; I guess it's just become a bad habit, not thinking before I speak."

"That's alright, sweetheart," she said as she sat down beside me stroking my hair with one hand and handing me a bowl of eggs with the other.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry," I told her as a handed the bowl back to her.

"Renesmee, you have to eat," she told me as she returned the bowl to my hand with a look that said _"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way"_ I decided it wasn't worth the struggle and choked down about half of the eggs before I sat the bowl on the night stand and turned to look at Esme. She smiled meekly at me and pulled me into a one armed hug.

"Do you want to talk?" she asked me hopeful. This was about as much interaction I had had with anyone since he had left. Mostly I just kept to myself and let my thoughts haunt me.

"No," I said staring distantly out of the window.

"Alright, well I'll be downstairs if you need me," she said as she got up to leave.

"Esme?"

"Yes sweetheart?" she said, turning around from where she stood at the door.

"When will my parents get home?"

"Oh, I don't know. Probably around 11ish," she told me as she smiled. I looked at the clock; it was only 8:00.

"Thanks."

"Renesmee, why don't you get some more sleep? You look awfully tired. Did you sleep well last night?" She questioned me worriedly.

"Yeah, I slept fine," I lied dully. I knew she didn't buy it but she gave me another smile before making her way back down stairs.

I laid back with my hands behind my head and just stared at the ceiling. I must have been more tired than I had originally thought because the next thing I remembered was waking up and hearing my parents discussing me with Carlisle and Esme.

"_I know I'm worried about her too, but she refuses to do anything!" _I heard my mother say.

"_Well than we'll just have to ma-" _My father stopped mid-sentence as he realized I was no longer asleep. I glanced at the clock, 2:30? Had I really been asleep that long? I heard the soft sound of my parents walking up the stairs and I slowly began to get up.

"Rise and shine sleepy head," I heard my father's ever smooth voice say as he knocked on the already half opened door.

"Hey," I croaked as he walked in and sat down beside me on the edge of the bed. They had been on a hunting trip in Canada for the past four days or so, something that they did once in a while to escape the commotion of life and have time alone I presume. It usually never bugged me, but ever since Jacob left, it's just made me feel all that more lonely. It's strange because even when they are here I don't converse with them, or anyone for that matter, but it's still nice to know that they're there.

My mother walked through the door shortly after my father had, and sat down on the other side of me. She looked me over as if checking to make sure I wasn't falling apart physically as much as I had been emotionally. I noticed that she looked into my eyes for a while; she could tell that I desperately needed to hunt by the shade of brown my eyes appeared.

"Renesmee, what do you say we go hunting the three of us today?" My father asked me. He had either read my thoughts or my mother had mentally voiced her thoughts to him, they couldn't seriously be _that_ good at that weird little facial expression communication thing parents do, could they? My father chuckled in response to my thoughts and nodded his head slightly. What in the world was that supposed to mean?

"You guys _just_ got back from hunting and you want to go hunting again?" I asked rationally; that seemed a little over-kill.

"We of course wouldn't hunt very much, but you need to go badly. When was last time you went hunting?" asked my mother as she again glanced at my darkening eyes.

"I don't know, a month or so ago," I mumbled in response.

"Only a month ago?" my father questioned as he looked doubtingly into my near-black eyes. The pigmentation was far too dark to suggest it had only been a month since I had hunted. Both my parents were silent as they waited for my response. I wasn't sure exactly how to respond though and shrugged my shoulders instead.

He sighed and reworded his question, "How many times have you been hunting since Jacob left?" he asked. His voice was calm, but his expression and tone were growing more serious.

The honest answer was that I had only gone once since he left, but for whatever reason I couldn't bring myself to say it. My parents always freaked when it came to anything involving my health and the silence spoke louder than my answer would have.

"I'm assuming that means not very much," my mother stated. I shrugged again; I suddenly felt all choked up inside and couldn't have found it in me to respond properly if I'd wanted to. The next thing I knew there was a tear rolling down my cheek, followed by many more. I felt my dad pull me into a tight hug as my mother stroked my hair. A part of me just wanted to cry and let my daddy hold me, but another part of me was furious with myself for crying. I hadn't had a crying episode in months, a record I had been planning to uphold. It seemed so weak and helpless, not to mention it wasn't doing any good.

The side of me that didn't care ended up winning and it felt good just to cry and not hold it back for a change. That was the point where I decided that maybe I wanted to be happy again. I couldn't see myself skipping through fields of daisies and I most certainly couldn't see myself getting over Jacob, but I did see myself functioning, which was a step up from the current situation.

**Thanks for reading! Thoughts? Oh and also I am looking for a beta reader for this story, preferably someone who can have it back to me with in the two days after I've sent it. If you're interested leave a review or send me a PM, thanks : )**

**-MissRenesmeeCarlieCullen17 **


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